The Toothbrush Scandal
by The Sneezing Panda
Summary: He really did hate Jules' demon-erm, cat. Jam.


Disclaimer: I do not own Flashpoint or any of its characters.

_A/N: Set in early season two, when Sam and Jules were still together but being all secretive._

_For Jing._

* * *

><p>The Toothbrush Scandal<p>

_by The Sneezing Panda_

Samuel Braddock poked his head in the doorway of the men's locker room, his gaze sweeping along every inch of the unoccupied space.

_Clear_, he affirmed in his head before slowly and carefully sliding over to his locker.

Still paranoid, he looked to his left, then right before removing his bag from around his arm and throwing it open. It took him awhile to find what he was looking for as the contents of his bag were a mess. He had quickly tossed the essentials in and left Jules' house in haste not to be late for work.

He smirked in victory as he pulled his black SRU t-shirt out, but that smirk quickly faltered when he oh-so-gracefully managed to throw a couple of other objects out, as well. The palm of his hand collided with his forehead as he muttered a curse.

His deodorant rolled across the floor...his wallet hit the ground with a smack...and...

His shockingly pink toothbrush made its way into the grasp of Ed Lane, the team leader. Sam hadn't even heard Ed enter. He, Sam, mentally gave himself another face-palm. Ed had the stealth of a sniper. Coincidentally enough, Ed Lane _was _a sniper.

Ed's face lit up with a grin as he studied the toothbrush; he chuckled. Sam maintained a poker face, silently groaning with embarrassment.

Damn Jules.

Damn her cat.

* * *

><p>"<em>What the...? AH!"<em>

_Sam had awoken with a start. Realizing he couldn't see—or really _breathe_ for that matter—he threw the chubby white cat off his head and began spluttering, coughing up the fur that had accumulated in his mouth._

_Sammy the Cat screeched and rolled off the bed, landing on the hardwood with a thud. So much for always landing on his feet._

"_You better not be terrorizing my cat again!" Julianna Callaghan shouted from the kitchen. He almost couldn't hear her voice over the sound of pots and pans clattering as she made breakfast._

_It was their morning routine: Sammy would suffocate or harass Sam in some way; Sam would "accidentally" throw the cat off the bed; and Jules would shame her boyfriend for messing with her beloved pet._

_It was times like these when Sam regretted buying Jules a cat as a present,_ this _cat in particular._

_Sammy scrambled to his feet and dashed to the shelter of his owner—but not before scathingly hissing at Sam for disturbing his peaceful slumber._

_Sam rolled his eyes when he heard Jules coo over her dazed feline and threw the covers off. He frowned; it felt as if there was still some fur in his mouth, but upon further inspection, he couldn't find any._

_He shook his head and stumbled into the bathroom, still disoriented by the event. After his eyes adjusted to the sudden bright light, Sam extended his hand to the counter, and—_

"_JULES!" he bellowed, bewildered when his fingers encompassed his slaughtered and damp toothbrush. He had a feeling it wasn't wet with water._

_He closed his eyes and let out a slow breath._

"What_?" Jules answered exasperatedly, suddenly appearing in the doorway. Sam spun around immediately upon hearing her voice and waved the mangled toothbrush in her face. She raised an eyebrow at the offending object before looking up at Sam._

"_Tell your cat," he spluttered at "cat", his voice laced with venom, "to eat its kibble instead of chewing up my belongings."_

_Jules went quiet. Her face was unreadable, when—_

_She burst out laughing. Sam's face went red—well, even more red, since it had been pink with anger since his rude awakening. Jules drew a shaky breath to gain composure._

"_Don't you think you're overreacting a little?" Jules accused lightly, unable to fight off the grin. Sam could be so silly sometimes._

_Sam shook his head, his nostrils flaring. "That cat is possessed by a demon, I'm telling you!"_

_Jules couldn't help it: she giggled, then covered her mouth with her hand. Her eyes betrayed her; Sam could tell she was smiling by the twinkle in them. Jules bit her lip and extracted the chewed-up toothbrush from Sam's hands, throwing it in the trash. She patted Sam's chest before taking his hands and leading him to a cupboard._

"_I have an extra somewhere," she explained, letting go and turning her back to him. She rummaged through the contents of the cupboard._

"_Aha!" she exclaimed triumphantly, evidently having found what she was looking for. She turned back to Sam, and—_

"_Oof!" she huffed upon colliding with his chest. Jules glared at him through thick lashes. Unbeknownst to her, Sam had been right behind her the entire time. He was about to tease her for her bout of clumsiness when his gaze fell open the object in her hands._

_The alarmingly pink object in her hands._

_A toothbrush. A toothbrush for _him_._

"_No..." he trailed off, his eyebrows inching higher up his forehead as Jules began to smirk._

"_Oh yes," Jules confirmed, offering the toothbrush to him. Sam quickly stepped back, colliding with the wall; almost instantaneously, Jules stepped forward, pressing herself against his chest. She tilted her head in amusement as Sam weighed his options._

"_Fine," he grumbled, snatching the toothbrush from her hold and walking to the sink. Jules shook her head, grinning, and left to finish making breakfast._

* * *

><p>He hadn't even meant to pack the toothbrush.<p>

He had had plenty of time to get ready that morning, until breakfast in Jules' kitchen turned into sex on her counter, and they lost track of time.

Sam, once again, mentally gave himself a face-palm upon realizing he must have accidentally tossed it in his bag while he was in a hurry.

"What's going on?" Spike Scarlatti asked as he and Lew Young strolled into the locker room. Spike glanced from Ed's beaming face, to Sam's embarrassed one, and to the bright pink toothbrush in Ed's hand. Lew and Spike shared a look as they put two and two together.

Spike hollered with laughter whereas Lew simply said, "Now, now, guys. There's nothing wrong for a man—a sniper—to own a pink toothbrush! _Samantha's _just getting in touch with her feminine side."

Spike almost died of laughter; Sam glared at Lew. "It's my girlfriend's," Sam covered quickly, grabbing the item from Ed. Well, it wasn't _completely _a lie.

"There goes Samtastic again," Spike teased, patting Sam's shoulder. Sam shook his head and was rapidly ushered out of the locker room to join the rest of the team, who were waiting in the gym.

Sam plopped himself down by the weights, beside Jules who was working out on the bike. Jules stopped, turned to Sam, and whispered, "What's all that about?"

Obviously she had witnessed the chorus of guffaws from his three colleagues as they accompanied Greg Parker, Kevin Wordsworth, and herself in the gym. Frankly, he was sure the entire SRU heard them.

Sam spared a glance at the rest of the team, who were engaged in a loud conversation concerning soap operas and Disney movies, before giving Jules his full attention.

"My girlfriend's pink toothbrush fell out of my bag," he explained, giving Jules a mild glare. His face lightened when a rosy hue took over the pale skin of her cheeks.

"So...what's this girlfriend like?" Jules queried slyly, devilishly grinning. Sam smirked.

"Oh, she's sexy. Sassy. Her cat annoys the hell out of me," Sam teased. He was fairly positive Jules would have smacked him had he been within her reach. "Sometimes gets me in trouble at work. Makes me late because she can't keep her hands off of me."

Jules narrowed her eyes at that. "Sounds like a handful," she commented, blowing a strand of hair away from her face.

"Yeah, she is," Sam agreed. "But I love her," he added flippantly, enjoying the way Jules' eyes widened as she took in his statement; marvelling in the fact he distracted her enough to knock her right off the exercise equipment.

Five pairs of eyes snapped to Sam, who was stifling his laughter, and Jules, who quickly got up and sat right back down on the bike. Jules blushed even deeper under their stare.

"Everything all right?" Greg enquired, his voice laced with amusement. Jules tried to ignore the laughter emerging from the men.

"Yeah," she squeaked, mentally cursing herself. She cleared her voice before she said, in a more confidant tone, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"So, uh, that's...good to know," she fumbled for words when the team's attention was elsewhere.

Sam chuckled. He loved to make Jules speechless, as words were one of her weapons.

Revenge was a bitch.


End file.
